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John Coffey helped me realize how being An empath can have a deep impact on your life. |
None of this really changed over the next few decades of my life. I sampled news at times to try to be a responsible and knowledgeable citizen only to become overwhelmed and avoid it again for long periods.
Then, a few years back I encountered Fr. Jim’s “Praying After The Evening News: The Evening News As an Agenda for Prayer”. Having recently entered into the more ancient strains of my faith tradition, I was being overwhelmed with just how deeply broken and twisted our world is. I encountered even greater amounts of mercy and compassion in the midst of all this than ever before. At the same time, I was distressed at being able to perceive more clearly the degree of our demise, our rushing towards oblivion like lemmings to the sea.
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Fr. Jim’s Booklet helped revolutionize the way I read the news and became a slightly more informed person. |
Fr. Jim’s booklet was an excellent step in the right direction, dated though it was. It posited simply using the headlines to pray not just generally for the situation, but also for one soul, one family in that situation to receive special grace and attention. This felt right and good however I was still being overwhelmed by the absurd amount of so-called news out there to consume and the ridiculous varieties of media slant that went along with it.
“This felt right and good however I was still being overwhelmed by the absurd amount of so-called news out there to consume and the ridiculous varieties of media slant that went along with it.”
Fast forward a few years to a session with my counselor. I told her of my predicament regarding my efforts to stay somewhat current and informed. She recommended the Reuters daily email and I jumped on it. This was perfect for me as it seemed slightly less biased than most news outlets. I could read the twenty or so headlines, pray, and perhaps click on one story of interest without getting so overwhelmed.
All of this was a step in the right direction for me, but alas there were deeper issues and more layers to peel.
I still found myself easily obsessing over how people did the most atrocious things, eliciting my anger which sometimes slid into rage. Being in recovery from multiple addictions, I knew that it is insanely stinking thinking to believe that the enemies of truth are ‘out there’… I knew that the battle line between good and evil run straight down the center of every human heart. No exceptions… including my own.
That fact didn’t stop me from getting angry at others however and obsessing over how I would correct or fix them.
What to do?
With no other ideas coming to mind, I started praying to have the same loving heart that Jesus had. It was then that I found there were centuries old devotional prayers of this exact nature (I’m a little slow on the uptake… all those Sacred Heart of Jesus icons and prayers I’d seen all of my life and was clueless what they meant). I began incorporating them into my daily prayers before Mass.
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Call me clueless… I never knew this image Went along with centuries old prayers of people Longing to have the same compassionate heart That Jesus has… I never said I was quick on the uptake. |
It helped. I began being a little less judgmental and resentful towards others.
But then one day something just clicked when I stumbled once again upon this beautiful verse:
“When He saw the throngs, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were bewildered and harassed and distressed and dejected and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.”
- Matt. 9:36
This verse has been a fulcrum point for me, a turning of the tide.
I have found that I desperately and continuously need Jesus to save me from being overwhelmed with not only my own brokenness, but also the brokenness in individuals I encounter and the twisted thinking and hard heartedness I see every day in my news feeds.
The key is, I’ve realized that in order to move forward, I need to channel HIS compassion towards both myself and others, because frankly I have none of my own most of the time.
I must remind myself to see everyone compassionately (including myself) like Jesus does… we are all sheep without a shepherd, harassed, distracted and bombarded with a thousand negative messages an hour in our social media obsessed world.
As I crawl forward in learning to channel his compassion and mercy I find it helpful to remember the following thoughts as well. If I do so it is easier to find the good in myself and other people and gently bless and encourage them and myself.
“Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.”
-Phil. 4:8
“Focus your minds on the things above, not on things here on earth.”
-Col. 3:2
“…keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.”
-Hebrews 12:2
“We don’t focus on the things that can be seen but on the things that can’t be seen. The things that can be seen don’t last, but the things that can’t be seen are eternal.”
-2 Cor. 4:18
As powerfully good as focusing on Jesus and his compassion may be, merely thinking about it is not enough for me… I must consume him. I must become one with him. He is the ultimate manna that came down from heaven, the bread of life:
“He humbled you by letting you go hungry; then he gave you manna to eat, which you and your ancestors had not known, so that you might learn that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.”
-Deut. 8:3
“I am the bread of life. Your ancestors ate the manna in the wilderness, yet they died. But here is the bread that comes down from heaven, which anyone may eat and not die. I am the living bread that came down from heaven. Whoever eats this bread will live forever. This bread is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.”
Then the Jews began to argue sharply among themselves, “How can this man give us his flesh to eat?”
Jesus said to them, “Very truly I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day. For my flesh is real food and my blood is real drink. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me, and I in them. Just as the living Father sent me and I live because of the Father, so the one who feeds on me will live because of me. This is the bread that came down from heaven. Your ancestors ate manna and died, but whoever feeds on this bread will live forever.”
-John 6:48-58
So, as an empath in my 61st trip around the sun, I’ve found a way forward through the barrage of daily negative messages about humanity that have otherwise threatened to overwhelm me. I have found a way to more consistently channel Jesus’ love to others without the extremes of burying my head in the sand or becoming obsessed and overwhelmed with our brokenness.
I am finally finding a way to join the dance, little by little and at times even see through Jesus’ eyes.
This beautiful song from Spielberg’s ‘The Prince of Egypt’ encapsulates that notion.
Baby steps.
I am grateful.
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