Three Loving Lights Shining on Morality

In these months before the election there have been so many divisive issues polarizing groups of people and sorting them by political party or religious denominations. One term that seems to be thrown around a lot is "Morality Police"; where one group will accuse another group of trying to enforce their sense of the moral law onto the others. The favor is almost always returned.

This seems like an unhelpful approach to me. Almost without exception, both groups involved are asserting their understanding of what is good for humanity and the world we live in. They do this invariably out of love or their desire for everyone to flourish in an equitable fashion. Neither group seems to be asserting their view because they wish to harm humanity or our world.

As unlikely as it seems on the surface, I believe that all sides actually think they're trying to do the loving thing. The reason they are so passionate and assertive about their own particular moral view is because they think the people in the other groups are not being loving. 

This unabashedly positive approach is echoed by one of my favorite songwriters, Bruce Cockburn:

"What will go wrong, will go wrong
What will go right, will go right
Push come to shove
It's all about love
The sight of your smile fills my heart with light"

I'm with Bruce. I want to search for the good, the true and the beautiful in others and when I find the tiniest fragment of it I want to bless it, draw it out and fan it into flame. Especially for those who call me their enemy.

So as I seek to understand those very people, I believe the following three metaphors can light my way.

Mother Love

Dr. Peter Kreeft asserts "There is absolutely no contradiction, or even any tension, between a loving mother's hospitality in welcoming all the kids in the neighborhood into her... house and that same mother out of that same love, warning all the kids in the loudest and scariest and most authoritative tone not to skate on the thin ice on the lake behind her house. Love is both shockingly tender and shockingly tough."

He then applies this to Jesus when he exhorts us to amputate parts of our bodies rather than let that diseased part destroy our lives. Like the Mom in the above illustration, Jesus puts on his shockingly tough loving voice to warn us that if we continue along that path, we won't get to our desired destination. He loves us with a crazy love and wants us to flourish and not lose our way.

So is Jesus or this Mom just being the Morality Police? Certainly not.

Perhaps neither are the folks who call me their enemy. Maybe they're just showing their shockingly tough love.

The Owners Manual

Every car comes with an Owner's Manual. We don't read it to our own detriment. We risk our lives and the lives of others by not following it, or at the least we run the risk of not reaching our desired destination.

In life, of course, there is no agreed upon owner's manual. Those who call me an enemy get upset when I don't follow the guidelines in what they see as the owner's manual for all humanity. Out of loving concern they reach out to me to try to correct me so I can get where I'm going without hurting myself and others.

Perhaps they aren't pushing their morals on me or being the morality police. Perhaps they are just trying to do the right and loving thing for me.

Learning to Drive 

Imagine you are solely responsible for teaching your child to drive a car. You love your child and want them to flourish. So you are careful to explain the rules of the road.

"Son, in America we stay on right side of the road. If you drive on the left side you'll be heading into oncoming traffic and the likelihood of you or your passengers or others dying will increase exponentially. I want you to get where you're going safely so drive on the right side of the road. Oh yeah, and these stop signs, be sure to stop at them and take turns with other drivers to get through the intersection... and beware of motorcycles and bikes, give them a wide berth for they are very vulnerable."

This metaphor applies nicely when it comes to our views on morality, especially when we see someone barreling up the off ramp and going the wrong way down the four lane highway of life.

"YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY!!! YOU'RE GOING TO GET KILLED OR KILL SOMEONE! TURN AROUND!!!"

All these are things we'd say if we saw someone actually going the wrong way on the expressway... remember the scene from Planes, Tranes and Automobiles!?

Well, perhaps the people that call me an enemy are simply trying to get me to realize I'm going the wrong way on the expressway. Maybe from their perspective they're just trying to save my life and the life of others around me. Maybe they just want to see me get to my destination safely. Maybe they're just trying to do the loving thing.

Destination as a Common Denominator

Notice that all three metaphors assume we are trying to get somewhere good. Notice that people are not so sure we're going to get somewhere good by going the way we are going. Perhaps they're just trying to love us the best they know how.

Then again, perhaps not. There are people who love to hate. But honestly, I don't know too many people like that. Pretty much everyone I've known or encountered wants to love and be loved. That's just the way most humans are in my experience.

So maybe keeping the metaphors in mind will help us dialogue better with the folks that see us as their enemy... or at least with friends who disagree with us. Maybe we can realize that most people want what is good, true and beautiful for everyone and that it is actually love that motivates them to advocate for their views of what that looks like in the day to day.